The Celebrity Traitors star has opened up about being outed by a boy he was secretly dating, revealing how bullying and isolation shaped his teenage years. His story is a powerful reminder that coming out should always be a personal choice.
Sebastian Croft opens up about being outed at school
For millions of viewers, Sebastian Croft is familiar as one of the young stars of Heartstopper, Netflix’s acclaimed LGBTQ+ coming-of-age drama.
But behind the actor’s successful career lies a personal experience that feels painfully close to some of the show’s most difficult themes.
Sebastian Croft has revealed that he was outed as gay at school by a boy he was secretly dating, describing the consequences as a deeply lonely and difficult period of his teenage years.
The 24-year-old actor and singer, currently appearing in the BBC’s The Celebrity Traitors, discussed his experience in an interview with The i Paper, with his comments reported by LGBTQ+ publications including PinkNews and Attitude on 19 and 20 October.
His account highlights the emotional consequences of being deprived of the opportunity to disclose one’s sexuality on one’s own terms.
And while Croft has since found success in entertainment, his story is an important reminder that coming out isn’t always the joyful experience people imagine.
What happened to Sebastian Croft at school?
Croft attended a private boarding school in Oxfordshire, where he was secretly seeing another boy.
According to his account, the relationship became known to other pupils after the boy disclosed his sexuality.
What followed was a difficult period marked by bullying, social exclusion and isolation.
Croft explained that he experienced significant difficulties at school and ultimately left formal education at the age of 16.
However, one particularly important detail in his account is his refusal to place all the blame on the boy involved.
He recognised that the other pupil was also dealing with pressure and hostility surrounding his sexuality.
Rather than portraying the situation as a simple story with one person entirely responsible, Croft acknowledged the wider environment in which both young people were struggling to understand themselves.
His comments offer an insight into how homophobia can affect relationships between LGBTQ+ teenagers, even when neither person intends to hurt the other.
Two very different worlds: school and acting
During his teenage years, Croft was already pursuing an acting career.
That created an extraordinary contrast between two parts of his life.
On stage and on set, he was surrounded by creative people and felt increasingly comfortable expressing himself.
At school, however, he experienced bullying and exclusion.
Speaking about the difference between those environments, Croft explained that acting allowed him to feel a freedom and acceptance he did not experience among his classmates.
The contrast eventually contributed to his decision to leave school.
For a young person who was already navigating questions of identity, the ability to find an accepting community through his work proved particularly significant.
It also illustrates how important a supportive environment can be for LGBTQ+ teenagers.
The unexpected connection with Heartstopper
Years later, Croft joined the cast of Netflix’s Heartstopper, playing Ben Hope.
His character has a secret relationship with Charlie Spring, portrayed by Joe Locke, while struggling with his own sexuality and treating Charlie poorly.
Although Ben’s behaviour is an important part of the show’s exploration of unhealthy relationships, the storyline also deals with secrecy, shame and the pressure surrounding coming out.
Croft’s real-life experiences give his involvement in the series a particularly personal dimension.
The actor has explained that working on Heartstopper provided him with an opportunity to experience something closer to the supportive sixth-form years he had missed.
Being surrounded by colleagues who celebrated LGBTQ+ stories and identities offered a very different environment from the one he remembered at school.
For audiences, Heartstopper has often represented the possibility of growing up queer in a world where acceptance, friendship and love are available.
For Croft, participating in the series also offered a connection between his difficult teenage experiences and the more affirming environment he found through acting.
Why outing someone without consent can be harmful
Coming out is an intensely personal experience.
For some LGBTQ+ people, discussing their identity openly can be liberating and joyful. For others, it may involve complicated questions about family, religion, school, work or personal safety.
There is no universal timetable.
Outing someone without their consent can remove their ability to decide when, how and with whom they want to share information about their identity.
In a supportive environment, the consequences may be limited. In a hostile one, they can include bullying, isolation and unwanted attention.
Croft’s experience illustrates how the impact of an unwanted disclosure can extend far beyond the initial moment.
His story also highlights why the wider environment matters.
The responsibility for bullying lies with those engaging in the behaviour, while schools have a duty to address harassment and provide appropriate support.
Young LGBTQ+ people should not have to choose between hiding who they are and feeling safe in their classrooms.
Sebastian Croft’s career continues to evolve
Beyond Heartstopper, Croft has developed a varied acting career across television, film and theatre.
He previously portrayed a young Ned Stark in Game of Thrones and appeared in Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans.
His latest television appearance is in the second series of the BBC’s The Celebrity Traitors, where audiences are discovering another side of his personality.
Croft has also expanded into music under the name Bash Croft.
His recent releases include Pretty People and Good Light, reflecting a growing commitment to exploring his creativity beyond acting.
He has also been involved in queer cultural projects, including Queer Was Always Here, a platform celebrating LGBTQ+ lives, art and history.
His expanding career offers a striking contrast with the isolation he experienced during adolescence.
The Gayly Mirror’s take: coming out belongs to the individual
There is something particularly moving about Sebastian Croft’s decision to discuss an experience that shaped his teenage years.
He could have presented the story through anger towards the boy who disclosed his sexuality.
Instead, he acknowledged that they were both young people navigating a difficult environment.
That perspective does not diminish the harm of being outed without consent. It highlights how damaging a culture of bullying and shame can become for everyone involved.
Coming out should be an opportunity for someone to express who they are when they feel ready.
It should never become information used to embarrass, isolate or punish them.
And young LGBTQ+ people deserve schools where their identities are not treated as scandals, secrets or reasons for exclusion.
Because, darling, nobody else gets to decide when your story is ready to be told.
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