Love has become a misconception in the 21st century as ‘having to marry the right sort of person’.
What is the right sort of person ? Financially secured, come from a good family, well mannered and presented, career ambitious, successful and all round what society perceives as perfection. In the lesbian community, there are far too many of us that settle for second best because we feel that what we are looking for does not exist. What most of us seek is a gentleman jack. A woman who would catch us when we fall and would provide the emotional support one needs. The lesbian bars are filled with ill mannered, poorly dressed and behaved women. Women who are far too concerned about the drama and who they are going to jump into bed with next. Whatever happened to desiring what we actually need than what we do not require. Perhaps there isn’t a role model we can look up to who would show us the right ways. Lesbians are renowned for sleeping around, having multiple fickle relationships at once, playing the field until dawn and not seeing the bigger picture of settling down. We are consumed by lust and desire instead of necessity and wholeness. A person once told me that ‘without a soulmate, life is a mere speckle of gloom amongst lost walking souls’. That person couldn’t have been more right ! We lurk the streets of Soho eyeing up and down the women that walk beside us but why do we not stop to ask ourselves, what am I truly looking for ? Why are we the epidemie of dead end relationships ? Are we to be satisfied with the little we have when there is much more out there that could light our paths ? We fail to see our faults because we believe that life is a mere bundle of fun and fun we certainly know how to exasperate. We tend to suck the life and goodness out of everything pure around us and the women who are unfortunate enough to cross our paths. Our promenades consist of clubbing, drinking and finding a one night stand. What if you had the option of meeting a woman who would want nothing more but your happiness; would you put aside your common ways in order to live a healthier and more satisfying relationship ? I would like to say ‘yes’ I am certain most would pick the better woman but I doubt my opinion is anywhere close to that inconceivable ‘yes’.
If you haven’t yet seen the recently aired series ‘Gentleman Jack’ then I advise you to give it a once over. Though portrayed as accurately as possible from ‘the diaries of miss Anne Lister’ who was far from being a fictional character, she is what I dream of. A person true to herself and to her heart’s content. Desire today is enveloped by lust but once upon a time it was to find the very being that makes your heart skip a beat. Are we destined to live life alone and to continue attending these dingy, expensive and dirty bars where not one person has two brain cells to rub together ? What a distressing and frightful thought that London has nothing better to offer. Perhaps it is time to travel the world instead of relying on what very little the lesbian community in terms of relationship has to offer.