PART 1 – Lesbian dating: pull your hair out it’s a nightmare

A labyrinth with no way out. So don’t mind the thorns sticking out of the bushes because they are not as painful as the dates.

 

When it is time for us ladies to date, where do we go ? online. The bars are crowded with women who are mostly looking  for casual hookups so the likes of Plenty of Fish, Wapa, She, Her and many other apps and online platforms offer us a way out. Though we are spoilt for choice, what the hell is actually lingering on those media platforms ? From men posing as women, from couples looking for a third party, from transvestites thinking that any lesbian could not refuse, from women catfishing and from everyone with a secret agenda we are royaly arse fucked. Lesbian dating in the year 2020 is nothing short of catching a shooting star. Good luck because you are about to journey on an adventure you wish you hadn’t started.

We all wish to love and to be loved but it has become a hazardous matter. Finding someone who can make your heart skip a beat is a reluctant journey I wish to put on hold until I am somewhat ready to endure the lengths I am willing to go in order to find my little island of happiness. I have roughly spent ten years on and off dating sites in hope that ‘the one’ is lurking amongst the crazies. My first experience was one that tormented me for 4 to 5 years and I can finally say that it no longer plays in my mind like a broken track record. 

I had decided one evening to sign up to Wapa (app). I thought that it was time that  I found someone I could settle down with and begin my very own love story. It took no more than 10 minutes to fill out the profile description and off I went hunting. I was spoiled for choice and within one hour I had begun talking to Lila. We hit it off immediately and I was surprised to find someone who shared my interests. We were messaging back and forth that evening and a couple of hours later we decided to call one another. Her voice was soothing ! I was hooked instantly and felt as if my feet had lifted up from the ground. We spent the entire evening until 7:00 in the morning chatting away without any awkward silences.

From chatting about politics, current affairs, films, songs and travelling journeys we were like two peas in a pod. From that day on I childishly believed in love over the phone. Her voice would resonate in my ears for moments after our conversation had finally ended. It was time for bed but my blood was rushing through my body like the Niagara waterfall and my imagination was in overload that I could not rest my eyes. I spent the day checking my phone every so often in hope that she would message me.

To my luck, she actually called me and off we went on another 10 hour call. We spent the entire summer chatting over the telephone and sharing each moment together but I had made the decision that it was time for us to meet and so we arranged a date. By this time, I was overwhelmingly head over heels for Lila and I was ready to say I love you. It’s crazy that in the space of two months one could be exasperated with an individual I had not had the fortune of encountering. A week stood in the way between me and Lila and I wished the days away like the summer breeze on a hot London afternoon. We continued to chat as usual and the night before the date, we wished each other goodnight and I had no choice but to try and get some sleep.

Now my nightmare begins !

I got ready early and made sure that my hair was nicely blow dried, my makeup was well applied and my clothes were in style. I went to our meeting point in Hyde Park 45 minutes early just so I didn’t have to walk down looking like a confused little person scouring the crowds for my date. I wanted to be ready and ready I was ! It was finally 14:00 pm and I started to ‘happy panic’. Sitting on the bench in front of the Serpentine, I started to feel a little anxious as she was 15 minutes late. I took my phone out and decided to message her ‘where are you hun?’. She replied and my heart raced ‘I am here. Sitting to your right on the other bench.’ Confused but smiling, I turned and to my horror, there sat a slob of a man dressed in a plain white t-shirt, washed out blue jeans and brown moccasins. I did not know where to put myself. He smiled and walked over. He sat beside me and said ‘it’s me, Lila.’

No words escaped my lips and I just continuously staired. His aftershave was so overpowering that it woke me up from my daze and I blurted ‘what the fuck !’. He went on to explain why he did what he did and how he used a phone voice changer mechanism to sound like a woman. I sat there quietly, listening to everything this catfish had to say for him to come out with the ultimate blow ‘I knew I could make a lesbian fall for me.’

I am usually a very mouthy individual but yet again, I was not only in a daze of shock but my heart sank. I got up and walked away as fast as I could. I did not exchange any words and made my way back home. I was walking as fast as I could as I wanted to collapse and cry.

I held my tears and before I could reach my front door I started to sob uncontrollably. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I fell somewhat in love with a picture of a woman I would never know her true identity. Conned and misled, I spent the next few months depressed and introverted. I couldn’t tell a soul because I did not want to be judged.

 

 

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