Part 2 – Lesbian dating: pull your hair out it’s a nightmare 

I was in a fit of rage as to why catfish feel they are justified by misleading people !


In my previous article I share my experience of having been catfished by a man. It doesn’t quite end there and unfortunately I have another similar encounter but with a twist. 

If only I was Julia Roberts in the film Notting Hill but being swept off my feet by a female version of Hugh Grant. This time I took extra precautions in making sure that the person I was speaking to on the other end of the phone was in actual fact a woman. Little did I know, I was about to face another extraordinary bizarre encounter.


I decided to try out the dating site Plenty of Fish. There was even more choice and it felt like being a 5 year old in a free to grab sweet shop. Devouring profile after profile, I land on someone who took the time to write an open heart profile description. She was charming ! Her words repeated over and over again out loud, she was someone I was interested in getting to know. We got chatting and off we went on another journey of discovery. Michele came from a traditional working class catholic background who did not accept that she was openly gay. She struggled growing up but persevered with her education and became a head nurse. She was career driven and was thirsty for success. She desired above all a family of her own and so she thought that at the age of 40 it was time she focused on building what she never had. I was immediately sucked in by her bubbly personality and spent hours laughing on the phone. I did notice after a couple of minutes of our first phone call that she had quite a deepish and grizzly voice for a woman but she assured me she was who she said she was so I just put it down to heavy smoking. After two weeks of speaking daily, she asked to meet me after her afternoon shift by Southbank. Excited, I agreed and at such a short notice I prepared myself and off I went. I was nervous and something did not sit right with me. Having been catfished before, my instincts kicked in and I expected the worst. Sadly, I was right !


I arrived at the BFI situated on the river front and headed to the bar. Early once more, I ordered a beverage and sat down outside to have a cigarette. Michele was on time and I could just about see her walking towards the bar. I waved my hand and she headed over. Shock, I was catfished again ! This time it was a man dressed in a red leather pencil skirt with an ironed white blouse tucked in. He wore red heels and a mousy brown wig with a lot of makeup. I sat there staring. I was not staring at his appearance but at the fact that I had been conned once more and I was stupid enough to not go with my gut instinct. She politely said hello and smiled uncontrollably. I sat there not bothering to get up because my legs went numb. ‘Hi’ I murmured. She left a bag with me and went to get a drink. I usually buy the first round if I am the first one to arrive but I felt it was best to stay put. As she came back, she tried to sit next to me but I pushed her glass in front so we could chat face to face. She obviously noticed that I was not comfortable and out came her revelation. She was a transvestite who considered herself to be a lesbian even though she had no intention of becoming a transexual. I felt that this was my moment to put things right and so I did. I explained that she should have warned me from the start and let me make my own decision if I wanted to pursue this any further instead of lying to me. I explained that I was a full lesbian and a penis was not something I wanted anywhere near me. She went on to try and justify herself that most women refuse to continue chatting to her once they have been informed of her situation. Having disputed her justifications for an hour I kindly declined to continue this date and I left. On my way out, I was met with shouting and screaming and Michele did not hold back lightly on her words. Not being able to control my anger, I turned around, stood still and shook my head left to right. I got into a black cab and rushed home. I had had enough of these dating sites and finally removed my profile. A few months later, I went on a few more dates that did not work out and once more found myself in another awkward situation that is to be revealed later.

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